Timestorm Bonus Bloopers Transcript

DANIA
Hey, there. It's Dania. This has been quite a year. It's been strange and unpredictable, and for so many, it's been really difficult. We hope the new year brings you the chance to grow, heal, and laugh.

MUSIC: UPBEAT RHYTHMIC TRANSITION.

DANIA
So, we're sharing this bonus episode as our way of helping you bring in the new year with some laughter. Michael has put together this short reel of bloopers and outtakes with our talented lead actors Leilany Figueroa and Claudio Venancio. Enjoy.

 LEILANY
(singing off-key) I don't know what you are like! (laughs) 

MICHAEL
(laughing) What was that? 

MUSIC: UPBEAT, RHYTHMIC MUSIC PLAYS UNDER.

CLAUDIO
Teleporting. That's amazing.

LEILANY
Hey— (laughs)

CLAUDIO
(laughs, snorts) Come on. (more laughter) 

LEILANY
The way you said, ‘that's amazing—’ (laughs) You were like, ‘that's amazing!’

CLAUDIO
(laughs) I'm honking. Stop taking me, honk. 

LEILANY
(laughs) Okay. All right. I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. I'm good. As long as I don't look at him. I'm fine, I think. 

CLAUDIO
I am not picking my nose, okay?

LEILANY
You do it all the time.

CLAUDIO
No, I don't.

LEILANY
You were literally in the timestorm when I saw you pick your nose.

CLAUDIO
I was not picking my nose. I was scratching the tip of my nose because it was itchy, okay?

LEILANY
Oh really? And your finger just happened to slide into a nostril?

CLAUDIO
And helping a future NAH-SAH microbiologist discover the cause of barfing judges. (laughs) NAH! SAH! 

MICHAEL
NAH! SAH!

CLAUDIO
And helping a future NASA... (laughs) Stop laughing! I'm trying to do it again! Ready? (laughs) Come on. (laughs) Dania's losing it over there.

DANIA
It's only seven-thirty

MICHAEL
All right, all right. Serious. 

CLAUDIO
(laughs) That's even worse! 

DANIA
This doesn't happen until, like, nine. 

CLAUDIO
I know, I know. Okay. (beat) And helping a future NASA microbiologist discover the cause of barfing judges. (laughs) (beat) And helping a future NASA microbiologist discover the cause of barfing judges.

LEILANY
(singing off-key) I don't know what you are like. Uh, that was, like... (singing off-key) I don't know what you are like.... (lots of laughing)

CLAUDIO
(laughs) I can't be in this room. (more laughing) 

MUSIC: UPBEAT, QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYS UNDER.

LEILANY
I wonder what her life would have been like if she'd been alive— (laughs

CLAUDIO
Oh my gosh. Why?

LEILANY
Okay, ready? Shh! I wonder what her life would have... (laughs)

CLAUDIO
(laughs) Here we go. Here we go.

DANIA
Eight o'clock – every time! 

LEILANY
There's always that one line. I can't get through 'cause I laugh at a joke I made.

CLAUDIO
Brindis's Stradivarius? (laughs)

LEILANY
Oh no. Nothing will ever top. That one was hard. Oh, that took willpower. Here we go. (laughs) (beat) If she's been allowed to keep her promise. All right. Are you still rolling? Oh, that's so sad. (laughs)

CLAUDIO
(laughs) Come on! (laughs)

LEILANY
I wonder what her life would have— (laughs)

CLAUDIO
Oh my God... 

LEILANY
Can we cut? (beat) I wonder what her life would have been like if she'd been allowed to keep her promise. (beat) Oh, yeah!

DANIA
(in the background) One more time.

LEILANY
Okay. 

CLAUDIO
Oh yeah! (laughs)

LEILANY
All right. Can we go? Can I still go? Okay. (beat) I wonder what her life would have been like if she'd been allowed to keep her promise. (laughs)

CLAUDIO
Alexa, you're holding a BRONZE barometer! (laughs) BRONZE! Okay. Sorry. (beat) Dude, have you been to Loch Ness? I've been to Loch Ness. This definitely sounds like it was recorded in Loch Ness. (laughs) 

MUSIC: UPBEAT, PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYS UNDER.

LEILANY
So, this is where we record the audio. (laughs) Okay. (exhales) Silencio. (beat) So, this is where we deliver an umbrella. (laughs) (beat) So, this is where we record the audio. Time to deliver an umbrella. Poor Alexa.

CLAUDIO
I'm talking to you.

LEILANY
No, I'm good. 

CLAUDIO
You're good? 

LEILANY
What a beautiful seventeen nineties sky.

CLAUDIO
Oh, yeah. Just pretend like something didn't happen, right? Like you didn't say anything.

LEILANY
Oh, look at that cloud shaped like a Funyun. 

CLAUDIO
Oh, a Funyun. Funyuns don't exist in this time period, Alexa.

LEILANY
Okay, you know what?

CLAUDIO
Aren't you the history buff?

LEILANY
I didn't want to talk to you, okay? 

CLAUDIO
Okay, now the truth comes out.

LEILANY
The truth really did come out because you annoyed me, Beni. 

CLAUDIO
Take that back. Right now.

CLAUDIO & LEILANY laugh.

CLAUDIO
(chanting) Let's go get an invisible danger! Let's go get an invisible danger! Let's go get an invisible danger! 

LEILANY
Here we go, here we go. 

CLAUDIO
Let's go get an invisible danger. 

LEILANY
Here we go. 

CLAUDIO
(beatboxing) (beat) Okay, okay, okay... 

CLAUDIO & LEILANY
(singing/beatboxing) This is how we do it, oh. Hands in the air. Hands in the air. Oh, this is how we do it. (beatboxing)

LEILANY
(laughs) Claudio! You're not even the one doing the line! Okay. (beat) I don't know what you are... (laughs)

CLAUDIO
(laughs, snorts) I can't breathe! I've gotta get out of this room! (laughs)

LEILANY
(laughs) I feel like Usher! (more laughing)

DANIA
We here at Timestorm want to thank you for joining the Ventura twins on their adventures. We also want to shout out everyone who makes this podcast possible, the talented artists behind the scenes and on the mic consultants who help us do right by the cultures, histories, languages, and storylines that we present, our Patreon supporters, as well as the Corporation for Public Broadcasting and the hardworking team at TRAX.

Thanks for listening to this. Timestorm bonus episode. Audio engineering and sound design were by Michael Aquino. You heard the voices of Leilany Figueroa, Claudio Venancio, Michael Aquino, and me, Dania Ramos.

Timestorm is produced by Cocotazo Media and is a proud member of TRAXs from PRX. Support for TRAX comes from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. To learn more about TRAX, visit TRAX dot fm that's T-R-A-X dot fm. If you enjoy the show, ask your parents to subscribe to Timestorm on Google Podcasts, Apple Podcasts or the KidsListen app.

Timestorm is produced in Essex County, New Jersey, which is situated on the traditional territory of Leni Lenape people.

As always, thanks for listening.

END OF TIMESTORM BLOOPERS